Part II - She's My Counselor Not Yours...

Posted on Sun Jul 27th, 2025 @ 9:37pm by Lieutenant Xavier & Lieutenant Amanda Rose

1,154 words; about a 6 minute read

Mission: Preservation Instinct
Location: Counseling | USS Arcadia
Timeline: Just before arrival at Eden

ON:

"Let's take this one step at a time. First, why are you concerned about the log that you sent as a message to this friend of yours?"

Xavier's eyes twitched. "I didn't send it apparently there was a computer glitch." He paused. "The person...is...a very important friend and it carries my true feelings about our....er...friendship."

"I'm sorry for being inexact with my language. You did explain that you did not intend to send it." Where was a raven when you needed it? "Who is this person and what did you say?"

He warred with himself. "Someone...a friend I have known for fifteen years. They have not returned the message."

"Does this person have a name? Again, what did you say? That would help me understand what is going on...."

"I...have a name I call them by, but I do not know their real name."

"Is there a reason that you are hesitating to tell me this name or what was said?"

He sighed. "I have never spoken to anyone about...Kerberos. A friend, a special soul who has kept me company for fifteen long years."

"After fifteen years, you have never asked this person's name? Why not?"

Xavier sighed. "Because people like that don't love people like me. As long as there is distance there is no chance of losing something vital to my existence."

"And yet, no chance of actually consummating that love. Why do you think that nobody could love you? What is so horrible about you that you believe that you're unlovable?"

He shrugged. "It's been a pattern since I was born. It is hard to argue with history. Everyone whom I have gotten close to has betrayed me thus the logical conclusion is to keep people at a distance. Thus, I can continue to exist and not worry about betrayals." He sighed. "I should go, I have to get to the bridge."

"No, Xavier. You are staying right here," Amanda said firmly. She relaxed her posture and then sweetly, "Logic has absolutely no place in emotional matters." She stopped herself and then corrected, "Well, that's not completely accurate. You need some logic, but if logic were to dictate, then beings would never fall in love and make some incredible stories and lives for themselves."

He held in a sigh. "I am scheduled to be on duty in thirty minutes. I must leave. Kerberos is better off not knowing me fully. He cannot then hate me be another person who shows me how unworthy I am. It is what it is. Besides it is a non-issue. Since the log was accidentally sent, I have received no response. Kerberos has probably decided to cut off contact." As he spoke, he absently rubbed his chest, not even aware of it himself. "We do have another appointment booked in a few days to satisfy my malicious sister in law's counseling prescription. As humans put it. She too has given me her finger."

"Lieutenant Xavier," Amanda said firmly, "I will make certain you are excused from duty. This is too important to discuss. You will stay." She nodded as if to emphasize the point and waited for his response before giving an answer to his self-image issues.

He could have left, he should have left, but she was medical, and he'd heard rumors about Percy and his banishment being someone from medical. "Since I have no choice in the matter then it appears I am staying."

"I appreciate your seeing reason," Amanda answered with a relieved smile. "Why do you see your sister-in-law, as malicious?"

"She's the counselor that ordered these mandatory sessions, the one married to my former XO, the one I left my previous ship to avoid. It makes sense that my brother's wife is as he is. As far as seeing reason, I did not. I simply understand that medical outranks everyone and if I refuse medical has the authority to take me off duty. The rumors are that Percy has left the ship due to someone in medical. My staying is caution and a desire to keep my job." He sat down.

Amanda put her hands in her lap and said, "Let me reassure you, then. I did not cause anyone to leave this ship. That medal belongs to someone else. Furthermore, I would never remove you from your job just because you were refusing to discuss your issues. That's not a basis for me to do so. Do I think it is unhealthy for you to avoid these discussions? Absolutely. However, my protocols are quite clear. I can only remove someone from duty if they are a threat to themselves, the crew, or the ship. At this moment, you are not. I can, however, excuse you from work for a period of time to assist with your mental health. That, I am doing. I also am a bit bothered about the entanglements on your previous ship. It is hardly any wonder that you're distrustful of a counselor.... For that, I am sorry."

He sighed. "I am sorry, I did not mean it to sound as if I was accusing you with respect to Percy. The rumor is he did not comply, and he was forced to leave. And as for the previous ship...I too was bothered to find out my counselor is my ex-brother's wife. I only found out when he transferred aboard and then I requested a transfer out."

"Percy.... Well, Percy was a problem. Lord knows that he made my life difficult. However, his issues arose from something else. Ultimately, it is my name on the paperwork, but he asked for that."

She shook her head, not fully understanding how she still felt about the annoying pig. "But, I'm your counselor now and I'm most certainly not related to you in any way, so talk to me Xavier...."

"It...is not that easy. My entire life I have had my own confidence. Then Kerberos. Every pain, every trauma I have dealt with on my own. Why must I rely on someone else now."

"But for 15 years, you have not fully opened to Kerberos. IF you had, the two of you would be together. You would have real conversations on com links or in person. Your emotional distance is keeping you from experiencing some of the greatest joys in life."

He sighed. "Counselor I see that I am going to have to convince you that I am what you call a lost cause."

"Why would you want to try and do that, Xavier? Why do you feel that you are so unworthy of love?"

"Very well, counselor. You wish to know my life story? Grab a cup of coffee I guarantee by the end of this you will understand."




To be continued...


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Lieutenant Amanda Rose
Chief Counselor
USS Ontario

&

Lieutenant Xavier
Chief Flight Control Officer
USS Ontario

 

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