Lair of the Vulcan - Part III

Posted on Sun Aug 10th, 2025 @ 6:10pm by Lieutenant Xavier

1,167 words; about a 6 minute read

Mission: Preservation Instinct
Location: Lt. Xavier's Quarters | USS Ontario
Timeline: Just after: Calming the Pilot Down

ON:

Xavier watched him go with a raised eyebrow. "Now that was...interesting." He sighed as he replaced his well loved copy of Dracula on the coffee table. "I think I found a new hobby...teasing Nurse Tox,” Xavier said to nobody in particular. He allowed himself a smile as he headed over to the dining table and picked up the tea. He blew at the smoke and it dissipated and stopped forming. He took a sip. "Perfect." His eyes still rested on the door and then on the shoes the Nurse left behind. "Oh...this will be fun."

Finishing his tea in a few gulps Xavier tapped his com badge. "Lieutenant Xavier to Lieutenant Tox."

There was a pause. "What!"

Xavier grinned. "You may wish to look down at your feet. I think you forgot something."

There was a pause and then a groan. "Fine! I'm walking back."

Xavier tapped off the coms badge.

Within a couple minutes the door chimed. Xavier picked up Tox's shoes and opened the door. "You left these."

Tox snatched the shoes and quickly put them on. He hugged the slippers he'd had on to his chest. "I'm keeping these. They're comfy."

Xavier bowed. He walked out of his quarters and past Tox and heading to the J-tub hatch.

Tox's brow furrowed. "Wait...where are you going?"

"To the bridge."

"But the lift..." He pointed behind them.

"I was stuck in one earlier today. I refuse to be stuck in one again."

Tox sighed. The mixed river of chaotic feelings inside him seemed to steady. "Wait, Lieutenant...Don't let one incident...."

Xavier stopped and turned. "I dislike those things anyway. This is better. If you will excuse me."

Tox humped. "I most certainly will not." He caught up to Xavier. "You know this could turn into a big problem. Have you ever ... thought about getting your fear treated?"

"I can normally control it," Xavier said.

"Normally, but today it came again." Tox thought a moment. "Have you ever heard of exposure therapy?"

Xavier stopped again turning fully to the Nurse. "No. I refuse to put myself in that predicament again; especially on purpose." He paused. "But thank you."

Tox stepped closer still clutching the slippers. "I...had a fear of shuttles for a while after an incident and I used to get panic attacks. Eventually I took my power back by spending time in a shuttle little by little introducing elements that... triggered my trauma. Eventually I got over it. I'm not saying that's strictly possible in the lift but... what about the holodeck. I could help you."

Xavier studied the man. There was no mocking in his tone and he'd just revealed a fear he'd gotten over. "No." He didn't think he was strong enough even in a holodeck. He'd told the XO about his past but he couldn't recount it again to this man. He was trying to forget it.

"I'll help you. I'll be there."

"No." He turned but felt a hand on his arm.

"Lieutenant Xavier. We can't be ruled by our fears. I don't know the back trauma to your fear but I do know that the longer it's in your system the more paralyzing it gets. I know that the longer you live with this trauma the longer you will be enslaved and owned by it. "

Those words sounded very familiar to him. Hadn't KERBEROS said the same thing that we can't be ruled by our fears when he'd told him about the lift fear? Something in what Tox said reminded him of that, his mind suddenly wanting to reach out to KERBEROS; but, KERBEROS was not here. It was a bitter reminder.

"Let me help."

Xavier turned to Tox. "Why do you care?"

"You remind me of someone. I can't help him so I want to help you in his name."

"So helping me overcome my fear... I am a stand in for you not being able to help him."

Tox smiled sadly. "He's not here. I can't help him and it kills me, so helping you will help me and because he's far away maybe just maybe it will bring me closer to him. And if I succeed then...maybe he'll consider overcoming his fear, if you let me share the results of trying to help you."

Xavier was silent for a long time. "You care about him a lot."

Tox smiled. "Yeah, I do." Tox looked up, his Steele grey eyes meeting Xavier's forest green ones. "But I care about you too as a Nurse who wants to help people, as one being cares about another being. Suffering alone is...not fun. I've done it too long. I know that when I broke my fear of the shuttle it was liberating beyond belief. It was as if I took back a part of myself that was ripped from me. Won't you let me help you?"

The silence between them was long their eyes never breaking contact. Suddenly Xavier could feel the cold of Tox's hand through his uniform jacket spreading through his arm to the very muscles relaxing them. Suddenly something occurred to him. Tox was human, he held no marks that would indicate otherwise but he had cold hands. The cold of his hands reminded Xavier of KERBEROS.

KERBEROS was a trill and Tox, like trills, seemed to have cold hands. His gentle nature and his genuine heart reminded Xavier of someone he'd never met in person but knew deeply from their 15 years of shared letters. It's as if for a moment he could reach the person that was so far. He then understood Tox wanting to help him. Perhaps Tox was using him as a stand in for a friend or lover, from the way Tox spoke of him, far away but he too was using Tox as a substitute for a person he may never meet.

"Okay."

The softness of his voice took Tox by surprise. His eyes widened a look that Xavier couldn't decipher crossed the Nurse's face.

"Okay then. Meet me in the holodeck after your shift?"

Xavier gave a nod, his voice not quite working. He thought he imagined a brief caress of Tox's thumb on his arm but the hand was withdrawn right away and Xavier was sure he imagined it.

"Great." Tox said. "I'll see you later Lieutenant."

Xavier gave a nod and disappeared into the J-tub suddenly a feeling to flee taking him over.

Tox stood there a long moment. He looked around making sure nobody was around and gently slapped his own face. "Don't even think about it. You like PLUTO. Don't you dare even think about liking Flyboy. You're just a Nurse helping him overcome a fear that could paralyze him." He muttered and then headed to sickbay. Cleaning always made him feel better. He was off duty but he would make sickbay sparkle.


OFF:

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Lieutenant Xavier
Chief Flight Control Officer
USS Ontario

&

Lieutenant Endymion Tox (NPC)
Head Nurse
USS Ontario

 

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