Broken Part I

Posted on Sat Sep 13th, 2025 @ 12:18am by Lieutenant Xavier & Commander Grace Vetur

1,115 words; about a 6 minute read

Mission: Preservation Instinct
Location: Main Lounge
Timeline: Post Away team's return

ON:

Xavier sat at the table in the lounge. Today was live music. The crew all performing and cheering one another on. He'd even planned on playing his violin but that was until the away mission, until his talk with the doctor who had inadvertently confirmed Xavier's suspicions.

A Vulcan mind, even a half Vulcan mind, didn't tolerate that many emotions all at once. He looked up as the woman on stage sang about love, loss, faith, and about how even in the darkest hour there is a ray of light.

"It's a cold and broken Hallelujah," the woman sang an old Earth song.

He shuddered and took another gulp of his third Sumerian sunset. He tapped the glass and watched the play of colours again finding comfort in their beauty.

The last notes of the beautiful song rang out and then another song started...another old earth song. Unchained melody. He looked up at the ceiling. "Really? I ask for advice and you give me song after song of this?" He had talked, prayed to his gods, no response but these songs were like wounds to his heart.

So lost in thought that he didn't hear someone sit down beside him. He took another drink. His hair was disheveled and his eyes had natural dark circles that didn't need any eyeliner to make them stand out.

Whenever Grace entered the lounge, she first looked around at the occupants before finding a table. Sometimes she sat alone, but at others she chose to sit with one of her crew. As soon as she saw Xavier, she knew there was something wrong. He looked a mess. There were two empty glasses in front of him and another that would be soon. She silently took a seat next to him, giving him the option to speak first.

When he noticed the Captain sit down he blinked. He was shocked that he didn't sense someone sit down. "How...?" He blinked again. "You...how did you?" He took a drink and shook his head. "Apologies...I did not hear you approach." He took a labored breath. "Hello Captain." He held up a glass. "Drink?"

"No, thank you. I'll have something else." She paused, watching him. "You seem...preoccupied." She signaled for the waiter to get her her usual glass of blackberry lemonade.

He sighed. "Preoccupied...that is one way of putting it Captain." The other was devastated, excited, scared, depressed, sad. He shook his head. "I now understand why the majority of Vulcans shun emotions...tempting."

"Vulcans strictly control their emotions, they don't shun them--at least the ones I know do. Emotions can be a roller coaster, but the opposite has its own issues." Grace paused while her lemonade was placed in front of her and she thanked the crewman who brought it. "So, if I may be so bold, what's going on?"

He snorted. "Maybe you're right. They pretend to shun them much like my family did but they use them to destroy what they don't like, whom they don't like. Izzz why I left." He said slurring a bit. He sighed again. "I recently suspected something about a fellow crew member and then I investigated...like Holmes would have done. I found I was right and now...I'm..." He sat up and looked at Grace. "I'm .... I don't know. I'm not good at naming feelings but it feels like being trapped in a turbo lift but also like taking my first flight."

She wasn't going to comment on Vulcans. She'd met some who definitely fit that description. "Ah. So, not quite sure how to react. Do you need someone to talk to? I'm a good listener."

His lip twitched a little. "Are you offering Captain? Cause if you are sending me to the counselor. No. Absolutely not. Just shove me in an airlock and press the vent."

"No. I'm not sending you to the counselor--either counselor. I'm offering. Sometimes you just need a listening ear." And Grace was more than capable of offering a listening ear.

There was a longer pause and then he sighed. "Perhaps a...an outside party would be helpful." He paused again taking a drink. "Fifteen years ago, I met...a friend through the Starfleet letter exchange program. That friend has become...important to me. A person I can truly let myself be myself with." He sighed. "I have never met that person in the past." He paused as if weighing the next words. "Until....now."

"Tox?" Grace asked quietly.

His brow furrowed. "How did you..." He shrugged. "Never mind. Yes." He sighed. "It was a story he told me when we were on the away mission...I had heard it before." He shook his head. "I..." He didn't even know where to begin. "I have met him now. I cannot tell him who I am."

Grace looked at his face and eyes, then raised an eyebrow. "Why not?"

"Simply, he deserves better. I have met him and as...annoying as I found him I found I was drawn to his zest for life, I believe that is what people from Earth call it. He has built up, in his mind, someone who is perfect and I am far from it. I have disappointed people since my birth...I do not wish him to be disappointed."

"Don't you think that should be his choice?" She asked kindly. "I think you have a very low opinion of your worth based on how your family treated you. But that's not who you really are. Give him a chance to decide for himself. You two already know enough about each other to get a basic idea of what sort of people you are. Either your feelings will deepen and grow, you will just be friends, or you'll discover that you aren't the right fit for each other. But if you run away now, he'll think you're rejecting him and you will lose any possible chance this could work out."

He sighed. "If I tell him and get rejected then I will have lost a fifteen year friendship." He shook his head. "I wouldn't even know how to tell him."

"Then wait to see if he tells you." Grace shrugged. "All I'm saying is, don't do anything you will regret later. But waiting to see what happens next is not the same thing. Let a relationship develop--if it does--and continue your friendship with your pen pal. He may find out who you are and still want to get to know you."

He looked at the Captain. "May I ask a question?"


To Be Continued...

Commander Grace Vetur
Commanding Officer

&

Lieutenant Xavier
Chief Flight Control Officer

 

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