I Think I'm Going Crazy - Part I
Posted on Wed Dec 3rd, 2025 @ 2:14pm by Lieutenant Endymion Tox & Commander Grace Vetur & Lieutenant Amanda Rose
1,565 words; about a 8 minute read
Mission:
Preservation Instinct
Location: Secondary Crew Lounge | Deck 15
ON:
Tox hurried towards the pre-arranged meeting he'd called of the official Keep Tox Sane Society. He all but ran bouncing as he went biting his lip. He'd sent out SOS notes to Grace and Amanda the two women he'd become close to and set an emergency meeting with them. In retrospect his note may have been a tad dramatic but....this was an emergency.
HELP!
I'm hereby calling an emergency meeting of the Keep Tox Sane Society. You have both been drafted and made full members by threat of insanity and hallucination. Lunch today, Secondary Crew Lounge on Deck 15...cause let's face it nobody comes here but a few lower deck officers. Invitation is not optional....ladies I'm seeing things that I maybe want to see?
For good measure he called them too to remind them.
Amanda rolled her eyes the moment that the message came across. She highly doubted that Tox was having any hallucinations. However, if she did not go, and he really was.... That would be tantamount to malpractice or a court martial or both. Trying to stay good humored for the effervescent man, she acknowledged, =^= On my way. =^=
Emergency meeting of the Keep Tox Sane Society? Grace wondered what was going on now. But, in case it was serious, she made sure her schedule was clear for the hour and headed for the secondary crew lounge. She'd only been there twice, but she knew the way.
Tox had been the first to arrive and selected a table off to the side. He'd gotten himself an orange juice, a comfort drink, and sat close to the wall so he could see his friends when they arrived. As he brought the glass to his lips his hands shook. You're seeing things. Something about this makes you see the word you want to see. This is all in your mind.
Grace walked in and immediately spotted Tox. She stopped to get herself a glass of lavender lemonade, she took a seat opposite Tox so she could see his face. "Who else are we waiting for? The counselor?"
"Yes, we are." He said. Tox sat back and sighed. He held out his hand to show it shaking. "You both are going to confirm I'm sane and not seeing things."
Grace looked at his hand, then back to his face. "All right. I won't ask more until Amanda shows up."
He waved his hand. "She should be here soon." He sighed. "I just...this could be amazing or I could totally be seeing things that I soooo want to see."
That made Grace even more curious. "Okay. So, how are you doing apart from this?"
He sighed. "I was fine until this...a little sad perhaps since the kitten we rescued got adopted out before I could adopt her but okay." He placed an envelope on the table. It was cream colored and the seal was facing up, the front, he'd faced at the table. "This is why we're all here...when the counselor comes I'll turn it around."
Grace looked at the envelope and nodded. Then she turned her attention to Tox. "Why weren't you able to adopt the kitten? You rescued it."
"There was an Ensign who liked her and she was really happy so I had to step aside." He sighed. "But one day I will have a pet." He shrugged. "I've always wanted one." He looked at Grace. "I've always wanted a Fennec Fox."
She still thought he had first refusal, but Grace understood how hard it could be to say no to someone. "We'll see what we can find."
He smiled. "So...before Amanda gets here, how was it at the um...emergency counseling pool party? Did you and the Counselor mend a few bridges?"
"It wasn't bad at all. I had a lovely massage. Thank you." In truth, Amanda was polite, so Grace enjoyed it.
"Small steps Captain." He gave her hand a pat. "We'll get there."
She chuckled. "I could say the same to you." But he did have a point.
He gave a little laugh. "I'm trying." He pointed at the face down envelope on the table. "Once I turn this over...we'll find out what steps I need to take." His finger shook. "Because I'm not this lucky."
Amanda finally strolled in. "My apologies for getting here later than expected. An ensign had an issue that had to be dealt with in the moment." She shrugged and smiled prettily. "Always on duty."
She then found a place to take a seat, "So Tox, state the nature of your counseling emergency."
"Ah! Well, it's simple. I'll show you something. I'm going to ask you to read what's on it. When you confirm that It's not what I think it is you can declare me insane and send me to the nutty nurse farm." He looked at both women. "Ready to prove your ship's head nurse is insane? I'm sure the doctor will love you both."
"Or prove you're not," Grace added. "But yes, I'd say we're ready."
He sighed. "So...back story. The Doc is big on spare scrubs and uniforms. We all have lockers where we keep extra clothes...I was having a particularly un...regurgitating day and an LT came in with a rather skittish stomach." He sighed. "So, I came to my locker area to sonic shower and change and I found that," he pointed to the face down envelope. "It was stuck to my locker. Now you'd think okay a note cool but," he sighed. "But it's what was written on the front. Now I'm gonna turn this over and y’all are going to say it's Tox or Nurse Tox, or Lieutenant Tox...and not what I think it says."
He glared at the envelope. They will not say it says KERBEROS. They will see Tox. I'm just seeing KERBEROS cause I've been thinking about PLUTO and have been obsessed with him not responding to me. He sighed again, "So ready for me to turn it over?"
"Yes." Grace didn't see a need to say more.
Amanda managed to prevent herself from rolling her eyes and sighing. So, Xavier figured it out.... Why can't Tox? Why must Tox live in a river in Egypt? I basically called it out last time.
"Do not keep everyone in suspense, Tox. After all, if you're insane, I really need to make that determination quickly so that you're relieved of duty," Amanda replied with a slight snicker.
He turned the envelope over and closed his eyes waiting for the women to read the envelope. "Okay, now each of your read what the front says." He closed his eyes.
"It says Kerberos, Tox," Amanda said calmly. "The only thing that's insane is your closing your eyes to reality. I'm not certain that you really want to hear what more I have to say on this, either."
His eyes shot open. "Could be a fluke! Shared insanity...." He turned to Grace. "Captain. You see Tox right not what she said?"
Grace shook her head. "No. Amanda's right. It says Kerberos. The question is, why don't you want it to be him?"
"I do...I just..." He was scared. After fifteen years and being vulnerable he wondered if he was good enough. He wondered if he was ready even though he's been dreaming of a day like this. This letter. He shook his head. "That...I mean that means that Pluto....that means we..... same ship." He took several breaths.
"Yeeeesssssss...." Amanda elongated, wondering if Tox would finally take the next step or if his cognitive dissonance would continue."
"Okay...same ship...That's...okay..."
"Yes, it is," Grace said gently. "It's been fifteen years. I think it's time you two met, don't you?"
"Perhaps...." He looked down at the letter and sighed. With shaking hands, he picked up the envelope. "Okay, okay I can do this." He checked himself and grew bolder. "Congratulations ladies you are now upgraded to the Keep Tox Sane Group."
"There's a difference from where we were before?" Amanda asked.
"Yes, there is," Grace replied.
"This was confirmation of sanity. I'm sane..." His eyes lit up. "OH, GODS OF STARFLEET! Pluto's on the ship and knows who I am...." He grabbed his water glass and downed it. "He's really here?" Tox tore the envelope open and pulled out the paper. He read the note and clutched it to his chest. "Oh Gods! The note...s..." He took a few breaths. "He says he wants to do something special for my birthday. Not Tox's birthday. My birthday!"
Amanda shook her head and then looked helplessly at Grace. How could Tox be so damn daft? She had no permission to reveal what she knew and apparently Xavier figured out.
Grace just shrugged. "That's a good thing, right? I think the proper response is yes. It's about time the two of you talked face-to-face." She almost offered to arrange their shifts so they'd have time to talk, but that would mean admitting she knew who Pluto was.
To Be Continued...
Commander Grace Vetur
Commander
USS Ontario
Lieutenant Endymion Tox
Head Nurse (NPC)
USS Ontario
Lieutenant Amanda Rose
Chief Counselor
USS Ontario
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