You are Urgently Needed

Posted on Wed Dec 31st, 2025 @ 4:11pm by Lieutenant Xavier & Lieutenant Endymion Tox & Lieutenant Amanda Rose
Edited on on Wed Dec 31st, 2025 @ 4:11pm

1,589 words; about a 8 minute read

Mission: Preservation Instinct
Location: Mess Hall
Timeline: Post Away Team Return

ON:

Xavier pressed the chime several times. Normally he was the picture of calm but right now all of that was thrown out the window. He sighed waiting for the counselor to respond to the chime. He pressed it for the fifth time in a row.

Amanda called out sweetly but also with a sense of urgency. "Coming! Coming!" She then muttered to herself, "I really need to get an assistant to assist me more often." When she opened the door and saw Xavier, she was puzzled. The Vulcan was normally more stoic. "Come on in. It is apparent that something must be bothering you."

He shook his head. "No. Tox requires your help...he...is not himself." He turned and started walking hoping the counselor would follow with urgency.

Amanda followed Xavier, more than a little curious as to what transpired. "I know that this might sound a little Vulcanesque, but please explain."

"I...was on my way to sickbay to see the doctor and ran into the Lieutenant and he...he was not himself. It was as if he was not taking in the world around him. I believe you Humans have a word for it. Zombie."

"Tox is rather dramatic," Amanda told Xavier. "It is part of his charm." She continued to walk towards sickbay. "So, we will take a look at him. Can you tell me anything about what Tox was doing immediately before this Zombie state?"

"No. I walked in and he was walking out of the nurses office." He paused and turned to her. "Dramatics aside I do not think this is anything of the sort. He was...to use a Human phrase, white as a sheet." They arrived in sickbay to be told Tox's shift had ended just moments ago. After they'd consulted the computer they redirected to the secondary mess hall, the quieter of the two. It was there they saw Tox seated by a window. A warm drink clutched in his hand his legs up on the chair bringing his knees to his chest. He was indeed pale and was staring out the window focused as if his body was present but not his mind.

Xavier turned to Amanda his voice suddenly somewhat horse. "Help him counselor. I may not be a fan of counseling but I am aware when someone is in need. I feel...." He rubbed his chest. "He is in pain."

Amanda looked at Tox curled up into a ball with his drink and silently wondered what could make Tox react like this. She reassured Xavier, "I'll do everything I can, Xavier. Thank you for bringing me here. Can you give us some time and space?"

He gave a nod and took one more look at Tox before leaving.

| ~ |

Tox sat staring out the window the once warm drink cooling in his hand. Strength to put it down was sadly not there. His mind was oddly numb even though it was racing and his body felt coiled tightly. It made no sense. One moment he was helping the Doctor in surgery bantering back and forth and the next...his world seemed of have been shattered with a few words.

Amanda moved next to Tox. She observed him for a bit and asked, "Mind if I pull up a seat? Perhaps you can tell me what is so interesting out there."

There was a long pause before he said, "Nothing. There is nothing out there." Tox shook his head. "Beyond that nothing is Trill."

"What's going on with Trill, Tox?" she asked, still standing, not daring to leave and get a seat until he said that she could pull it up and be near him.

He sighed. "Have s seat counselor. Trill is nothing. A prison I once escaped but now...may have to return to."

Amanda pulled over a chair and sat side by side to Tox. "Why would you have to return? I know your story with your symbiont."

"My brother called me not long ago. My eldest brother...someone I have not spoken to since I left. He's never called me. I'm called to go back to be a support to my family through a rough time and I ... want to go. I love them but at the same time I...don't want to be there. Is that ... does that make me a horrible person?"

"Why would you think that would make you a horrible person? You, of all people should understand that family and relationships are complicated."

"Rationally I do but...I just..." He shook his head. "How did you find me here?"

"How did I find you here?" Amanda asked with a small giggle. "Oh, I have my resources. I find out many things before others." Her tone changed to a more concerned one. "But what does it matter? I'm here now and you seem to need me."

He sighed. "No. I don't need a counselor but I could use a friend."

"I am both, but I understand what you mean, Tox."

He sighs. "I really hate my brother...even though I love him. Certifiable right?"

"Not really. Sibling rivalry is real," Amanda answered. "Tell me what's going on."

"We've had a death in the family and I am...was caught off guard. I have so many feelings that I cannot name them all."

"You do not need to name them. Emotions only need to be felt, Tox." She put a hand on his shoulder. "So, who died?"

He sighed. "My mother. A titan in her own right."

"I'm so sorry, Tox. That's got to be very difficult. Was this expected, or...?" Amanda let her voice trail off, feeling at a loss.

"Death is a certainty in life but it's never expected. We know it's coming but we live in denial and then when it happens it shakes the very foundation we sit on." He took a sip of his cold drink and grimaced putting it on the table. "I'm afraid I am not making sense, am I?"

"You're a bit more philosophical than usual, but you're making sense," Amanda reassured Tox. "So, tell me more, Tox...."

He sighed. "I think we are lacking a sofa but what do you wish to know?"

"If you want a sofa, we can go to my office, if that will make you feel better." She gave an apologetic shrug, but whether Tox noticed it or not, Amanda was uncertain. "Well, I suppose the first thing I would like to know is about your relationship with your mother and how soon the final rites are to be handled."

"Well let's start with the second part. Easier to respond to." He sighed. "All has been handled the memorial will happen in a couple weeks." He stared out the window. "As for your the first part of your question. Our relationship was...complicated."

"Go on," Amanda encouraged. Nothing about Tox was ever easy, she learned. Either way, she would help.

He sighed. "How many years you got to listen?"

"As many as it takes," Amanda responded with a light laugh. "But, since things are going to be occurring within the next month, perhaps a synopsis would be better."

"Ahh, well, I bet you were unaware that you were in the company of my mother's source of eternal disappointment. The gist? I loved my mother a lot but I was never what she wanted in a son. I knew this; my siblings know this; everyone does. I was always trying to live up to what she wanted and in the end I failed that and failed to truly be myself so there are feelings with respect to that. Some words we'll never resolve or say."

"First things first. You should only live up to your desires, Tox. Living for someone else always ends in disappointment. So, just be you, Tox. Your marvelous, crazy, hysterical you.

But, you're right that now that she is gone that you cannot reconcile with her in person. Then again, you may never have, even if she lived. What you can do is find some closure within yourself."

He smiled at her words. "I am a bit crazy. Hysterical only on occasion." He paused. "So what can I do to bring closure to myself?"

"That depends on the being, Tox. There's no cure all. Have you talked about any of this with Xavier?"

He raised an eyebrow. "Why would I talk to your pilot about this? We can barley stand each other, his hotness aside."

Amanda rolled her eyes and sighed, exasperated. "Have you really not figured it out yet?"

"Figured what out that he's yummy? I have. That his irritating? I have." Then his eyes widened. "He asked you to talk to me didn't he?"

Amanda put her right index finger on her nose for an answer. "Give the boy a prize!"

Tox smacked the table. "Okay, what is his deal? Counselor, I appreciate your time but I'm going to air lock the Vulcan." He stood drinking down his now cold drink. He wrinkled his brow. "Ohhhh that's awful. Never drink this cold." He sighed. "If you'll excuse me I have to go put the bane of my existence in his place."

"Well, it sounds like you're back to normal, at least," Amanda answered while shaking her head. "My quick to act, slow to think nurse.... What ever am I going to do with you?"


===

A post by:

Lieuteant Amanda Rose
Chief Counselor
USS Ontario

&

Lieutenant Endymion Tox
Head Nurse (NPC)
USS Ontario

 

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